To begin this journey

If you are unfamiliar with how a child comes to be extremely dissociated, please read the Forbidden Topic blog beginning with the first post. Go at your own pace. You will grasp the concept in about ten entries, faster than reading several books. If you skip a post, you may miss one of the building blocks of total understanding.

When it makes sense to you that a child constantly exposed to sexual trauma may (and hopefully will) dissociate, you are as ready as you may ever be to absorb the ramifications of the messages included on this page.

The world of pedophilia is ugly. If we don't see the larger societal picture, this reviled segment will continue to flourish.


Please read "Pedophiles Know Dissociation
" FIRST.


12.16.2008

Child predators use double language to thwart "telling"


Through my work with both adult and child survivors of early childhood abuse, it has become apparent that child predators insidiously and calculatedly use a double language. Innocent or preposterous terms are used by the predator while abusing a child or placing a child in an abusive situation. A young child has no language for such acts and so uses words and terms of the abuser.

One of my clients was a pre-school boy in the primary care of his biological mother. The biological father and his wife were concerned about odd behavior when they had custody for the summer. I was asked to meet with "Tyler". During one of our sessions (which were always play therapy), I used the term "time out" for a toy. I set the toy aside on a chair and told it that it was in "time out" for five minutes. Tyler's reaction was atypical behavior. He appeared quite agitated.

During the next session, he announced he wanted to play "time out". I watched as he enacted yelling and strange behaviors with dolls. Since I was unable to understand what he was trying to show me, during the next session I asked him to show me using sand tray (a form of play therapy) what happened when he was in "time out". He was quite verbal at age 5. He explained that "time out" was when he, his mother, the live-in boyfriend, the boyfriend’s teenager son, and a toddler half-brother had to be naked. Mommy, the boyfriend, and boyfriend's son, touched him and made him do things he didn't like. He demonstrated with dolls the positions he was made to be in and showed me what the adults did to him, even imitating their voices as they told him to do certain acts.

Child abuse had not been suspected prior to the sand tray disclosure. The bio father and stepmother (now the boy's adoptive mother) confirmed that when they had used the term "time out" with Tyler, he had an extraordinarily terrified response. We realized just how deceptive a tactic that was. When Tyler visited his safe parents, he would tell them his mother or Franklin (mom's boyfriend) had put him in time out. The natural response was "Why? What did you do wrong?" The response served to reinforce messages that Tyler was somehow bad for being in time out and shouldn't tell any more. But he did try to tell. Thank goodness.

I filed a report immediately after the session where "time out" became known and the bio father was able to have emergency custody granted. The judge listened to my testimony and honored the knowledge, much to my great relief. So how do we fight this? A child tries to tell and no one hears. An adult hearing a child tell something that seems innocent needs to notice behavior and emotions of the child reporting. Is the child frightened by telling you? If so, it should be reported. Let the child-trained interviewers find out what the phrase means. At least it might help get more children out of dangerous situations. In another situation, the predator referred to himself as “the PE teacher” and the activity as “physical education”. The child’s mother noticed her son’s great aversion to the school’s PE teacher in two separate schools. An innocent PE teacher could have been accused of being a molester because of the predator tactic.

I had my own personal history of having the word “exercise” used. I can imagine when I may have tried to tell my mother, "Daddy made me exercise when you went out". Her response would likely have been, "Exercise is good for you." If abuse is happening in the bathroom, particularly the bathtub or shower, a child may have very scary meanings for “washing hair”, shampoo, etc. A commenter on one of my blogs disclosed her little girl, in court, said, “Daddy had a bottle that shampoo came out of” to describe the penis.

Tyler, whom I spoke about above, had terms such as hammer and jackhammer to describe a penis. I taught him the correct terms using anatomically correct dolls. When he told me Franklin put a jackhammer up his butt, he was able to show me with the doll that a jackhammer went with the penis. These terms are strategically designed to prevent the world from ever knowing.

We, as concerned adults about the safety of the children, need to start listening very differently. First we have to learn not to dismiss if a child tries to tell us something in a serious manner that seems unusual. An adult hearing a child tell something that seems innocent or outrageous needs to notice behavior and emotions of the child reporting. Is the child frightened by telling even though the words seem innocent? Children don't typically go out of their way to tell an adult of some inane activity. A good response might be, "When Uncle Joe washed your hair, was it something you liked or was it scary?" That's all you need to know. A professional who works with abused children should take over with regard to disclosure. Report your suspicions of abuse to the appropriate agency in your area.

A further example of the length pedophiles will go to make the child sound unbelievable is use of names of people who have died or names of living relatives of the child in the victim's presence. Over the course of many weeks, 5-year-old Tyler's story surfaced. Numerous times he referred to "Franklin's mother".

During the custody hearing, the defense attorney cited some of my documentation where Franklin's mother was mentioned. He asked me if I would be surprised to learn that Franklin's mother had been deceased for a number of years. Knowing that underworld, I responded vehemently that the child knew SOMEONE as Franklin's mother as a tactic to make the abuse appear unbelievable. The judge granted full custody to the safe parents.

The first time Tyler relayed other children were present and played the same games, he told me their names. When I conveyed the information to the bio father privately, he indicated the names went with Tyler’s young cousins who couldn't possibly have been in the state where the child had been abused. After realizing "Franklin's mother" was a tactic, I was able to ask Tyler if the names he had given me for the other children made to play the games were the same "John and Mary" who were his cousins. He felt safe enough to tell me that they were not and described the differences in detail. This is where knowledge of the predator mindset is critical. The bio father naturally would have questioned the veracity of his son's report of that incident. It made perfect sense following the court hearing.

Child predators use whatever personal information they have on the child to make the victims appear as liars. It’s time we started adapting a new strategy for protecting the children—one that takes into consideration the lewd and shrewd mindset of the predator.

9.06.2008

The biggest deception of all time

Any survivor recovering from years of memories wrapped in amnesia who recalls abuse by a group in robes or any reference to demons is immediately dismissed by society. Law enforcement in many areas dismisses reports of such activity. But if the abusers were known simply as "organized pedophilia", would the world be looking the other way?

Given the information in the article below, "Pedophiles Know Dissociation", would it not make a huge difference if we all just cut to the chase of organized pedophilia? Organized groups of pedophiles worldwide know that if they create the external scenario of black robes, and rituals and all things connected to the devil, a child will retain that as the memory. It is a genuine memory but one that has been intentionally created to be unbelieved. And this by people who claim therapists "implant" false memories of such abuse. How ironic is that?Pedophiles also are able to use a cult setting to "justify" horrific abuse to ensure the ongoing dissociation of children into adolescence and adulthood. If you read the story Using God to Abuse at Believe the Children, you can see how a child might be set up to distrust God. If Tyler (the little boy in referenced story) had not been saved from that environment, likely he was being primed to believe the lies about another entity controlling his life. I can't tell you how this damages the child's psyche.

If everyone would get past the labels and simply redefine for the sake of all of our children:

satanic cult = organized sophisticated pedophile ring/network

ritual abuse = organized sophisticated pedophile ring/network

(name a religion or organization named by a child during her abuse) = organized sophisticated pedophile ring/network

(name the most bizarre setting you can imagine described by a child during abuse) = organized sophisticated pedophile ring/network

(name a fictional or nonfictional person or character whom a child names as a perp) = pedophile at the very least using costume and/or mask

Let me clarify that certainly not all members of any organization or religion are pedophiles. But there are pedophiles in each "community" who find each other and subject children to similar unbelievable environments and trauma. There is little variation in the memories of children who have survived abuse at the hands of these pedophiles worldwide. How can anyone ignore that evidence? Even artwork by survivors globally has similar elements in the portrayal of abuse.

As long as everyone looks the other way when a child or adult survivor begins to speak of the horrors of cult abuse, the pedophiles have free reign. They have created the ultimate environment in which to abuse and the media and well-funded propaganda have successfully convinced society that the children are all lying.

Add to that knowledge, with a special thanks to Dateline, that pedophiles exist in all elements of life--schools, daycare, police departments, the judicial system, clergy, and even in the agencies whose purpose is to protect the children. It's a very scary and overwhelming scenario. I would hope that good parents take this to the legislators and insist on re-educating about dissociation and getting community agencies on board with a program to attack their own pedophile rings.

Cult = pedophile network. Would someone please hear the truth.

8.26.2008

Pedophiles Know Dissociation…Do You?

Much of society is not educated in one very important aspect of child abuse. Yet this one aspect is at the heart of years of undisclosed incest, child porn, child couriers for drugs and other forms of child exploitation. Many children targeted for such activity grow up to be not only victims of long-term child abuse, but also eventually victims and outcasts to their family, friends, and community.

The children who grow up with the survival mechanism of dissociation are blessed from memory of the abuse at the time it happens…and are plagued with it decades later when the memories may begin to bleed through the walls of amnesia. A sizable segment of pedophiles know dissociation inside and out and use it to their advantage. What is better for a pedophile than a child who has no memory of being assaulted repeatedly for years? The gift of dissociation to a child is also a gift to a child predator.

The media has bombarded us with incorrect and sensationalized depictions of DID along with propaganda about "false memories" coming from our most wounded victims of child abuse. Why? Because when the child becomes an adult and begins to remember, she may recall her abusers. We can’t have that now, can we? (I use the pronoun “she” because more girls than boys seem to adapt to this amazing protective cloak.)

What is the typical profile of a pedophile? There is none, right? The community leader is as likely to be a pedophile as much as the man lurking on street corners. So who are the victims of long-term child abuse? Primary targets are children who are born into families where one or more primary caregiver is a predator. Sometimes it can be a primary caregiver outside the home—a daycare for several years where abuse is occurring or a next door neighbor where child supervision is lacking. Easy access to the child is a key component. The common factor for these child victims is that abuse begins so early in childhood that DID has occurred predominantly by age six and almost always by age nine according to leading experts on childhood dissociation. Given this definition, victims of incest are candidates for dissociation depending on age of onset of abuse and duration.

The child has no control over whether dissociation occurs. The brain becomes overwhelmed and makes the decision. The “scary” names for this survival mechanism are multiple personality disorder or the more current term of dissociative identity disorder (DID). A child traumatized with physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse repeatedly (especially by someone upon whom the child relies for survival) is unable to hold onto two main thoughts simultaneously: I hate my father/mother/abuser. I love my father/mother/abuser. And so there is a split in consciousness. The child’s mind determines whether this split will be “simply” buried in the mind to resurface later in adulthood as a repressed memory…or whether the split becomes dissociative. If the latter is true, the child continues to create dissociative selves to survive in a very cruel and terrifying world. (Refer to forbidden topic for a more detailed explanation of about DID.)

What happens when a woman in her thirties or older who has just been raped, is terrified, and sounds and behaves as a young child when calling the police and/or when the police arrive at the scene? She might be labeled as crazy and any claims of recent abuse dismissed, including rape, and leave her re-traumatized and re-victimized. The best way to treat the woman would be as one would treat a frightened child—with messages of reassurance and safety. Offering a stuffed animal or toy from the home before going to the hospital, would go a long way. Once the child part has calmed down, the police or hospital staff will likely be speaking to very competent adult. But it is the child alter who will have the memory—unless the woman has been in treatment and has some crossover of self-states (sharing memory). Working with a dissociated person will be covered in more detail at another time.

If a child part recalls the abuse, how do you translate that to something that can be prosecuted? This is a tough one. Right now, most of the judicial system is set up to disregard any claims by someone who is “a multiple”. This means the victims know pedophiles the rest of the community does not. The victims also have details of locations and possibly people and automobiles. Yet most police departments, health care workers (including physicians, psychiatrists, and many therapists) are not equipped with knowledge to help work with such victims.

A very sophisticated knowledge exists and is shared worldwide for a large segment of pedophiles. In my own community, among therapists who do work with trauma and dissociation, we are aware of this underground world through similar knowledge of healing clients. It is ugly and sinister and insidious. And it does not appear that anyone is going after it systematically in our nation (as far as I can tell through research). Some successful attempts have been made in some cities to educate and coordinate resources. Therapists trained to work with DID and survivors who have healed are helping to educate law enforcement (and anyone else who will listen in the community). Some trainers are available through the community resources listed to the right.

Pedophiles know that a dissociated child cannot tell others of the abuse because there is no conscious knowledge of the abuse. Pedophiles take advantage of that dissociation. This is known to survivors worldwide but continues to be dismissed thanks to the media propaganda and lack of correct knowledge. No one in that evil world of child abuse wants either a child or an adult survivor of dissociated childhood abuse to be believed.

Dateline: To Catch A Predator. Police, elected officials, teachers, coaches, at least one rabbi, as well as people of the “typical sleazy pedophile profile” and more were convicted of soliciting sex from a minor. Of course the pedophiles at the top of the ladder are going to support dismissing anything recalled by a victim of their own crimes. This is the Catch 22 of the world of child abuse. The very children most hurt by the pedophile community are dismissed frequently when they claim abuse which allows for further abuse of those children to go unchecked.

One step further. Networks of sophisticated pedophiles exist everywhere. (Sophisticated, for purposes of this article, means: “to have knowledge of how to use dissociation in their favor.”) What happens when a dissociated child—a victim of long-term childhood sexual abuse—becomes an adult? These sophisticated pedophiles who are aware of adults still fully dissociated know how to cause a child part to respond. Even more devious is child parts can be called out with a cue (given to the victims by the abusers in a state of terror) for purposes of sexual abuse, trafficking drugs, and other illegal acts without any conscious knowledge on the victim’s part. I invite you to read this paragraph again. It’s mind blowing.

Children who dissociate can be trained to respond like Pavlov’s dog. A pedophile preys on children. We have no word for someone who preys on child alters of an adult. Using a dissociated child state of an adult is insidiously disguised rape. It practically guarantees disbelief if the victim tries to report the abuse once it becomes consciously known.

To these sophisticated pedophiles, a child is not precious life to be cherished. A child is an object to be used for their nefarious purposes. Child porn and sex rings prey on children coming into this world as babies and children kidnapped at an early age. They know how to traumatize an infant or young child systematically to cause dissociation, thus ensuring a child who will likely never tell during most of her lifetime. A sophisticated pedophile is assured of having sex for the victim’s lifetime through child alters as the victim ages, unless or until the victim begins to heal and can pull herself out of a very dangerous environment.

Sophisticated pedophiles use mind altering drugs on their victims, wear masks and costumes, create bizarre scenarios, and use other techniques to try to obliterate any believability when the dissociated adult begins to remember. When a young self state recalls the abuse, it might be “three gorillas in Santa Claus suits” were raping her. And the damning part of this is she likely was. Many child accounts of abuse include a fictional character (cartoon, superhero, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, etc.) which tends to be immediately dismissed as a lie or creative imagination. The reality is that is how pedophiles operate. To a child, a person dressed as Santa IS Santa or IS a gorilla (whatever frightening or bizarre costume is used). How many times have you seen movies or television stories based on fact where the predator was the ice cream man or someone dressed as a clown or someone claiming to have a lost puppy or kitten? That is the unsophisticated pedophile. They all know how to draw a child in.

In addition, through a terrified child’s eyes, a very large person may be viewed as “a monster” (and/or the person may, in fact, wear a monster mask). The mask doesn't have to be scary. It could be a mask of the president. A terrified child (especially one who has been drugged) will believe the person who just molested him or her was the person depicted on the mask.

So why wouldn't organized child porn groups dress up in robes and wear devil masks and provide other surrounding paraphernalia to share their love of child molestation? It's the perfect cover because we all know that children or adult survivors remembering such things are crazy. I ask you to consider the tactic. It is not the place of abuse, but the abuse that needs to be the focus. Children are being abused systematically to ensure loyalty in the form of dissociative parts.

It is uncanny how every survivor of DID, resulting from long-term early childhood sexual abuse, becomes terrified just in the remembering of initial bits and pieces. The fear of telling can be overwhelming.

Fear of telling is instilled in many horrific ways. Remember, to a child (or child part of an older dissociated person), an adult is powerful. To help ensure secrecy, often the child will be made to believe someone's eyes are watching her every move to ensure she doesn’t try to tell. Layers of messages of fear for telling are uncovered in nearly every survivor to include death to self and, worse to a child, threat of death to a loving parent, sibling or pet.

As a nation we need to understand that victims of sophisticated pedophilia recalling child sexual abuse will appear incredulous intentionally. We need to redirect our focus on the abuse and not the surroundings in which the abuse is remembered. Then maybe the premise on which pedophiles build their porn and sex rings and other dirty dealings might begin to crumble.

What can you believe about surfacing dissociated memories?
Trauma is stored differently than ordinary memories. A recent trauma for the United States and some of the rest of the world was 9/11. Take a moment and allow your mind to relive where you were and notice the detail of that moment seared into your mind. Trauma essentially is an act or incident which becomes frozen in the mind along with all or some of the sensory details (images, tastes, smells, textures, sounds). When it thaws, it surfaces with the stored elements in tact. Post traumatic stress is when one or more external sensory experiences connect in the mind to the original trauma. Fireworks or a car backfiring may trigger a memory with gunfire. The smell of something burning might be a trigger for traumatic memories for both police and firefighters. It is a very strong reliving of whatever was stored. Except when your memory of 9/11 or another personal trauma surfaces, you remember the original event.

Traumatic abuse for someone with DID is also captured with any or all of the following: anything sensory (sight, sound, smell, texture), certain prominent details (the weather that day, viewing the trauma in slow motion, etc.). Someone with DID recalls the same frozen details only long after the incident with no original conscious knowledge and sometimes with no context, at least initially. Most with DID never have validation from perpetrators they remember and often find themselves suddenly cast out of their families for daring to make such "false accusations".

The majority of survivors with DID just want to heal. They are disconnected from their families and, if not, disconnection usually happens because they realize how unhealthy their family dynamic was. Family members, unfortunately, usually only serve to invalidate the memories and add further strain on the torturous healing process. Some survivors have siblings remember as well and have the rare opportunity of validation and support.

As a survivor's healing journey progresses, processing traumatic material becomes less invasive to their lives. And the more dissociated parts that heal and begin to share the same consciousness, the more "depth perception" there is to a memory. Since the survivor had various dissociated self states "viewing" the trauma, as the different parts become known to each other, the new perspective will add to the memory. It is in this manner that survivors often realize the tricks that were played on them. While a child self state may have borne the burden of sexual abuse, an adult self state may have been witnessing--seeing the charade of gorilla suits or even fake deaths. A survivor who is safe to heal and goes through the healing process will have a knowing of what happened to them but feel as if it happened to someone else.

The complex survival skill of dissociation held by a survivor of long-term childhood trauma (and possibly long after childhood) should be honored. Yet, we deny it. We invalidate it. “We” meaning our society as a whole.



Why doesn't a child tell when abuse is or becomes known?
Pedophiles use coercion and terror tactics leveled at the age of the child or the dissociated child alter. A child state may have been told crocodiles would eat her if she calls out for help while being molested or thinks to call the police for help. Were there really crocodiles? No. But she believed that and is terrified of that “fact”. Numerous children who have reported abuse have stated the bad touches came from police officers and firefighters. This is done intentionally to create distrust of anyone in a position to help. When a child or an adult survivor tells that police, or firemen, or gorillas, or Santa molested them and is not believed, the perps know the attempts to tell failed. The child or dissociated child self is again at the mercy of the perps with no recourse. This is the cycle from the time the child is trapped in this world of pedophilia. Victims have nowhere to go for help.

The most frequent fear to first come up as initial memories surface is the fear of telling under threat of death. The bravery faced by survivors in overcoming fear after fear seared into the memory fragments and, later, the "bigger picture" of what happened for a single stored trauma, is amazing, let alone years of memories bubbling over and being processed. The reward for healing becomes ostracism by society. It's a lonely road to travel. After making the transition from victim to healed survivor, silence must still be maintained to be accepted as part of the new life she makes for herself.

You can be sure that the same fear tactics and level of terror is perpetrated on children not yet dissociated. I had the privilege of working with a young boy exposed to organized pedophilia while in the birth mother's custody. Fortunately the abuse become known after, what is believed to be, less than two years. He consciously remembered most of the trauma. No dissociation. Just his personal memory. The child was the first conscious client I had to convey the tactics reported by adults recalling childhood abuse. Pedophiles use the same techniques worldwide. You have to wonder how many children are "lost" in working on a new traumatizing technique that doesn't work. My young client was lucky to have an open minded judge who made the right decision for the child's welfare. (Read more this child's story at Believe the Children,"Little Boy Saved".)

What you don't know helps ensure the foundation of this insidious crime
My attempts to involve law enforcement on behalf of survivors with DID have been dismissed. No agency is willing to devote resources to follow up on such unbelievable stories. How can this happen? The perps cue a child part to open the door. “We’ll kill you if you don’t open the door.” No breaking and entry is evident so the victim must be lying about the attacks. Such victims of multi-generational abuse may begin at birth if born into the hands of a predator. It's worse if the predator is part of an organized ring. This type of abuse is global and invisible. (Visit the ISSTD website for more information on the global issue.)

With the internet, pedophiles can share their tactics and honed trauma-inducing skills in seconds along with long proven multi-generational tactics. We know the extent of organized pedophiles only from those caught and reported on the news. Anytime we hear news of a child porn sting it is international in scope. And the "safe haven" for many group meetings is behind the guise of people in robes at a real or perceived-to-be-real graveyard along with satanic paraphernalia. How long are we going to let children remembering such abuse continue to be victimized without our seeing the perfect organized pedophilia set up?

It is my feeling so incensed at this situation that has inspired me to write…to share…to ask the good guys of society to look behind the well funded media-based fear and lies and see the reality. I don't expect you to believe this concept without questioning it. I urge anyone who was sufficiently interested to read this far to look into what the known experts of dissociation have to say. If a single police officer, rape crisis worker, physician, psychiatrist, therapist, or community leader educates him or herself and models for others in their profession and community, the ripple of healing will have begun for our society.

Many resources are available on dissociation. My favorite initial source is ISSTD which has information geared toward each segment of society: survivors, social workers, therapists, educators. Please go back and read the basics in Forbidden Topic if what is written here has overwhelmed you. At the very least, consider the possibility. What if it is true? What would that mean to you and your family and your community?

And if you are questioning what I've said, why isn't the same questioning being applied to proponents of "false memories" which causes society to immediately dismiss the existence of DID and the memories of those abused. Why is there fear a child/adult child will remember abuse if the parents are innocent? Something doesn't make sense.

The world would have you believe that survivors of abuse who remember such atrocities as "satanic cults" have distorted memories that cannot be believed, wild imaginations, or magical therapists who implanted a lifetime of memories into a person's head. Let's drop the charade of the cults. Yes, organized pedophilia uses that as a cover so that is what survivors remember. That's why it is the dirtiest secret behind child abuse. If we, as a united nation against child abuse, figure it out, they will no longer have free reign over our children.

It takes all helping arms of a community to come together to begin bringing down the walls these child predators have been hiding behind very effectively for generations. No one wants this in their back yard. The good people of the world do not want it on this planet.


Please visit Know Dissociation for further information.